tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post4623908411107086332..comments2023-06-01T05:58:51.997-07:00Comments on Editing (MM422): Perspectives on AgingRegina Cassellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04060298634467517339noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-41623913333289285462015-12-03T19:51:08.336-08:002015-12-03T19:51:08.336-08:00I do really enjoy your article, the images make th...I do really enjoy your article, the images make the story more interesting to read.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08986458704170497564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-3186741498511507012015-11-30T15:55:24.842-08:002015-11-30T15:55:24.842-08:00I really liked the use of art and the link to thei...I really liked the use of art and the link to their website. Definitely kept me intrigued while reading.SydneyLHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08547950717844365741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-3606708694552602232015-11-30T15:55:18.521-08:002015-11-30T15:55:18.521-08:00I really liked the use of art and the link to thei...I really liked the use of art and the link to their website. Definitely kept me intrigued while reading.SydneyLHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08547950717844365741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-74542335925903451942015-10-18T21:18:23.581-07:002015-10-18T21:18:23.581-07:00I really liked this post. It was hard to find anyt...I really liked this post. It was hard to find anything wrong with it. I like the addition of the art. I would make your headline more of an attention grabber.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04156632950972041591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-38695122993987262612015-10-06T14:31:31.995-07:002015-10-06T14:31:31.995-07:00This was a great post! I wasn't able to find a...This was a great post! I wasn't able to find any error in your writing. I thought it was great that you not only added photos but you also explained the author of the works!Michaela Olberdinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07004288344085279295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-36559659745351005812015-10-06T14:31:24.894-07:002015-10-06T14:31:24.894-07:00This was a great post! I wasn't able to find a...This was a great post! I wasn't able to find any error in your writing. I thought it was great that you not only added photos but you also explained the author of the works!Michaela Olberdinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07004288344085279295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-58061277649265093432015-09-21T07:45:08.285-07:002015-09-21T07:45:08.285-07:00Good story! I would use one sentence for the lede ...Good story! I would use one sentence for the lede and separate the first paragraph.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18361349413984093943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-20154483009899523802015-09-17T16:18:26.206-07:002015-09-17T16:18:26.206-07:00Great job, Mindy! That is a very well-written and ...Great job, Mindy! That is a very well-written and grammatically correct article. I think that the only change I would make is where the hyperlink is, I would lowercase the word web. I think it's great that you added photos and a link to their web page! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00546756473875671715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-22756572492521840392015-09-15T12:56:34.888-07:002015-09-15T12:56:34.888-07:00Good job Mindy! I enjoyed reading your article. I ...Good job Mindy! I enjoyed reading your article. I didn't find any grammar errors and I think your headline is good short to the point.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07420193873114415751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-56038294539129900402015-09-14T16:36:30.765-07:002015-09-14T16:36:30.765-07:00Great story! It was very clear and consistent with...Great story! It was very clear and consistent with AP style.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08981167437803624417noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-56755055851236763592015-09-13T18:23:32.366-07:002015-09-13T18:23:32.366-07:00Very good article. I like the fact that there are ...Very good article. I like the fact that there are pictures to show what you are talking about. It gives the audience more clarity about what you are trying to say. I would use a different title. I know it is what the exhibit is called, but I think a different title would really make the article stand out. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03491079946480679001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-69311418298806117382015-09-08T20:11:48.657-07:002015-09-08T20:11:48.657-07:00I thought this was well written and articulate. I ...I thought this was well written and articulate. I really like that you added a link to their web page! I like how thorough you were and that you included pictures and descriptions. I believe that saying "currently" instead of "presently" would sound better in the first paragraph. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-87418603380107366932015-09-08T12:50:54.778-07:002015-09-08T12:50:54.778-07:00Very well written Mindy! The only thing I saw was,...Very well written Mindy! The only thing I saw was, "In their exhibit Perspectives on Aging it shows us that old age, like many other stages of life, offers moments of joy, sadness, desire and pain" I think using the would fit better than their. Cathryne Klisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156237965938779149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-1011217599925615712015-09-08T12:50:07.880-07:002015-09-08T12:50:07.880-07:00Maybe a different headline and a few other punctua...Maybe a different headline and a few other punctuation issues that I saw. Other than that, it was very detailed and full of information. Josh Wallentinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00384765534669045594noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-32097154226641334412015-09-08T12:44:49.781-07:002015-09-08T12:44:49.781-07:00I find this article very interesting. Grammaticall...I find this article very interesting. Grammatically it was very well written. The only thing I see is that the headline could use some editing. The work "Aging" does not need to be capitalized according to the AP stylebook. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03530664019624256517noreply@blogger.com