tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post5870256801442356430..comments2023-06-01T05:58:51.997-07:00Comments on Editing (MM422): WU sports enrich campus life (Edited)Regina Cassellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04060298634467517339noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-29129744304868248102015-12-03T20:49:21.958-08:002015-12-03T20:49:21.958-08:00Good job with your edits! "You have run out o...Good job with your edits! "You have run out of excuses" for the conclusion!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00539629333194858609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-91217732063791507732015-11-30T19:56:29.470-08:002015-11-30T19:56:29.470-08:00I think you did a great job editing the original a...I think you did a great job editing the original article! This one seemed to flow a little better! I also think your headline is perfect for getting the reader attention and the point of the article across Michaela Olberdinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07004288344085279295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-61476285124382141822015-11-30T18:32:58.109-08:002015-11-30T18:32:58.109-08:00Nice headline. Flows well.Nice headline. Flows well.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18105774946599752560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-6456428254197178612015-11-30T16:13:07.248-08:002015-11-30T16:13:07.248-08:00A few sentences are still a little hard to follow,...A few sentences are still a little hard to follow, but the headline really improved the article a lot. Good job!SydneyLHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08547950717844365741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-53107313124732508712015-11-30T16:13:03.968-08:002015-11-30T16:13:03.968-08:00A few sentences are still a little hard to follow,...A few sentences are still a little hard to follow, but the headline really improved the article a lot. Good job!SydneyLHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08547950717844365741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-70441483804882024762015-11-20T07:34:46.213-08:002015-11-20T07:34:46.213-08:00Great headline! This is a great edit, concise and ...Great headline! This is a great edit, concise and to the point. Other than a few grammatical errors and oddly worded sentences, this was a good edit!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15721144001840493511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-88074351059008065312015-11-07T12:49:51.319-08:002015-11-07T12:49:51.319-08:00The headline is so much better - thanks for the ch...The headline is so much better - thanks for the change. You could easily write a better, more defined lede. The first sentence, if kept, should be formatted into the second paragraph, it don't make sense why they're separated. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18117447719940392999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-35911795145899274382015-10-24T12:19:57.209-07:002015-10-24T12:19:57.209-07:00Good job! I really like your headline. The only th...Good job! I really like your headline. The only thing I saw was the first sentence with the word choice was a little confusing, but that is all.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07420193873114415751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-89652080311061027592015-10-22T09:12:47.213-07:002015-10-22T09:12:47.213-07:00There are still some words that just don't fit...There are still some words that just don't fit right in the sentences, but I do like the edits you did make. It was a little bit easier for me to read. Good job!<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03491079946480679001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-68252543419946634252015-10-21T08:09:07.441-07:002015-10-21T08:09:07.441-07:00"The Washburn Athletics become the best is pa..."The Washburn Athletics become the best is partly because the conference that the Ichabods play in" This sentence needs to be reworded so it doesn't end with a preposition. And also, the idea that Washburn sports are the best is an opinion. This story could use some additional editing. Cathryne Klisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156237965938779149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-25151240825995646402015-10-21T08:04:32.427-07:002015-10-21T08:04:32.427-07:00This looks good! I agree with Josh, there are a fe...This looks good! I agree with Josh, there are a few odd word choices. For example, "you are easy to have fun.." Just double check the order of your words!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-41776493249332949122015-10-21T07:49:23.739-07:002015-10-21T07:49:23.739-07:00I like that my sentence that I wanted taken out wa...I like that my sentence that I wanted taken out was removed. The edited version came out great.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04156632950972041591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-35433732146779188442015-10-21T07:42:52.978-07:002015-10-21T07:42:52.978-07:00This is solid! Job well done. It seems that there ...This is solid! Job well done. It seems that there are some odd word choices such as "You are run out of excuses." Just things like that. Josh Wallentinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00384765534669045594noreply@blogger.com