tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post6181385683115518809..comments2023-06-01T05:58:51.997-07:00Comments on Editing (MM422): Bonded at birth Regina Cassellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04060298634467517339noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-87268916237893214232014-09-06T20:53:31.520-07:002014-09-06T20:53:31.520-07:00I love the changes that you made, it really added ...I love the changes that you made, it really added that touch that the story needed. It was great before but now it is even better! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02145349941021806928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-52277511509463030452014-09-04T09:13:59.996-07:002014-09-04T09:13:59.996-07:00Great job! You added some details let the article ...Great job! You added some details let the article warmer. I love the title you changed.Zai Yujiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00224768483613303556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-44944335453691225182014-09-04T08:37:15.411-07:002014-09-04T08:37:15.411-07:00I liked the title and the opening paragraph. It he...I liked the title and the opening paragraph. It helped establish the situation a little more clearly.Brianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12023996784574735793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-2097736057277740812014-09-04T08:36:52.309-07:002014-09-04T08:36:52.309-07:00While holding on to the original story, you change...While holding on to the original story, you changed just enough to make the story cuter and more touching. Well done! I also like the changed title>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03729556269449028539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-9034720702445743682014-09-04T08:36:36.939-07:002014-09-04T08:36:36.939-07:00Nice job. You corrected some of the punctuation er...Nice job. You corrected some of the punctuation errors I had noticed before. I also like the title change, it fits great with the story. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08342334703162607135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-9961562698652722842014-09-04T08:25:54.128-07:002014-09-04T08:25:54.128-07:00I loved the descriptive details you added to this ...I loved the descriptive details you added to this story. It made the story flow more easily. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10917843282124410508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-16285977588647532162014-08-28T15:23:23.329-07:002014-08-28T15:23:23.329-07:00I'm going to reiterate everyone else and say t...I'm going to reiterate everyone else and say that the new headline works much better with the story. Jena the editing choices you made were well done.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00246883693786513243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-87953895796497267332014-08-26T12:39:36.077-07:002014-08-26T12:39:36.077-07:00I definitely like the title change. It makes more ...I definitely like the title change. It makes more sense now with the words rearranged. Some of the more descriptive sentences flow better now that editing has been done. It was a job well done by both of you! JennFunkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12019608744038730627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-91496006276472447032014-08-26T06:25:03.384-07:002014-08-26T06:25:03.384-07:00That's awesome Sarah! I'm so excited! I li...That's awesome Sarah! I'm so excited! I liked your story, it was great and something I feel like people can relate to. :)Johanna Greerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16253194396023284583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-77936705285476005112014-08-25T20:18:55.760-07:002014-08-25T20:18:55.760-07:00Great edits, Jena! I like your headline a lot, and...Great edits, Jena! I like your headline a lot, and I think the editing choices you made helped the flow without altering the descriptive details that I loved so much in the original story! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07879780447247621474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-71664381928689450422014-08-23T12:51:29.316-07:002014-08-23T12:51:29.316-07:00I thought of you when I originally wrote it Johann...I thought of you when I originally wrote it Johanna! It will be the best experience of your life! This was written about my sister-in-law meeting her baby girl Monday evening after a very early and un-anticipated delivery. <br /><br />I like the edits a lot Jena, I think you kept the integrity of the story while making some much needed changes. <br /><br />I like the title change as well, Emily you have a good point--making connections to things that people know might bring more readers to a story. <br /><br />Hope everyone enjoyed it!Sarah Seuellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03704460586168182749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-48141257196533463242014-08-23T04:44:49.435-07:002014-08-23T04:44:49.435-07:00I agree, great job Jena. I felt like I could reall...I agree, great job Jena. I felt like I could really feel and see this story in my head. This is definitely something I'll be able to relate with in about 3 months. :)Johanna Greerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16253194396023284583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-39426183309784747632014-08-22T13:41:56.167-07:002014-08-22T13:41:56.167-07:00I like a lot of the edits you made to this story. ...I like a lot of the edits you made to this story. For example, I think your new version of the headline is more of a familiar phrase and might be more likely to catch someone's attention. (It also kind of plays off the TV show "Switched at Birth." I think creating headlines that might cause people to make connections could potentially increase interest in the story that follows.) Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06914354219737276049noreply@blogger.com