tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post7503533136870699018..comments2023-06-01T05:58:51.997-07:00Comments on Editing (MM422): Career fair lacks large corporations [Edited]Regina Cassellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04060298634467517339noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-20109105893871370372015-12-03T21:02:43.183-08:002015-12-03T21:02:43.183-08:00Nice edits! It would be great if there was more in...Nice edits! It would be great if there was more information on other career fairs throughout Kansas.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00539629333194858609noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-55424232826781539082015-12-03T19:57:21.518-08:002015-12-03T19:57:21.518-08:00I think your edits made the story flow better and ...I think your edits made the story flow better and I like your headline.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08986458704170497564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-4650754468959406442015-11-30T20:11:43.921-08:002015-11-30T20:11:43.921-08:00The i in university is capitalized, so I would low...The i in university is capitalized, so I would lowercase that, but other than that, great job editing!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00546756473875671715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-62293693743752195092015-11-30T16:00:15.259-08:002015-11-30T16:00:15.259-08:00I liked the edit of the headline. Still conveys th...I liked the edit of the headline. Still conveys the point but makes it sound less opinionated. Good job!SydneyLHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08547950717844365741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-86888532155423718332015-11-30T16:00:10.858-08:002015-11-30T16:00:10.858-08:00I liked the edit of the headline. Still conveys th...I liked the edit of the headline. Still conveys the point but makes it sound less opinionated. Good job!SydneyLHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08547950717844365741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-10525549645192981012015-11-05T05:14:05.496-08:002015-11-05T05:14:05.496-08:00I have an idea for the headline, "Career fair...I have an idea for the headline, "Career fair disappoints students." Just a thought. But great edit everything really flowed and was easy to read.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07420193873114415751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-42491246330494162402015-11-02T12:01:35.174-08:002015-11-02T12:01:35.174-08:00Great edit! Very interesting article.Great edit! Very interesting article.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08981167437803624417noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-13925514899095878032015-10-18T21:28:54.434-07:002015-10-18T21:28:54.434-07:00"University" ... was a great article .. ..."University" ... was a great article .. just little mistakes but it is overall better than the first draft.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04156632950972041591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-23825104511095692452015-10-06T14:55:46.171-07:002015-10-06T14:55:46.171-07:00Your paragraphs flowed better in this than in the ...Your paragraphs flowed better in this than in the original! There are a couple spelling errors but other than that I thought you did great! Michaela Olberdinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07004288344085279295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-78039257047748800502015-10-06T14:55:42.155-07:002015-10-06T14:55:42.155-07:00Your paragraphs flowed better in this than in the ...Your paragraphs flowed better in this than in the original! There are a couple spelling errors but other than that I thought you did great! Michaela Olberdinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07004288344085279295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-48739049468398613272015-09-22T18:34:55.433-07:002015-09-22T18:34:55.433-07:00I thought this was a great edit! It flowed well an...I thought this was a great edit! It flowed well and many of the awkward phrases were corrected. Well done!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-92169522301696438592015-09-22T16:53:21.298-07:002015-09-22T16:53:21.298-07:00Other than a few very minor capitalization errors ...Other than a few very minor capitalization errors (the "a" in Chic-fil-A was not capitalized the second time it was mentioned and the "i" in "University of Kansas" was capitalized when it needn't be) this flowed much better than the original! Great job!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15721144001840493511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-9685020909675530342015-09-22T10:55:45.942-07:002015-09-22T10:55:45.942-07:00The paragraphs flow much better with the new edits...The paragraphs flow much better with the new edits. However, the headline still needs to be edited to include an active verb and the story needs to be re-formatted to consist of shorter sentences and simpler thoughts. Nonetheless the topic is still highly relevant and interesting. Good choices! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18117447719940392999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-79041422613520777062015-09-21T07:54:07.105-07:002015-09-21T07:54:07.105-07:00Great edits! You basically did all the edits I rec...Great edits! You basically did all the edits I recommended. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18361349413984093943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8373769128375739503.post-4511727707214843942015-09-21T07:48:20.882-07:002015-09-21T07:48:20.882-07:00This is a lot better and flows a lot better as wel...This is a lot better and flows a lot better as well! Good job. This has good content as well! Josh Wallentinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00384765534669045594noreply@blogger.com