Student Media Hours!

Please create a paragraph after each production shift you work. Briefly summarize your experience. What did you do? What were your overall editing observations?

Regina's Edit: Unexpected tip saves night

After a long and challenging night of serving customers at Texas Roadhouse, Brenden Williams was ready to head home. 

Instead he set about cleaning his tables and tried not to let his lousy night of tips impact his mood.

One of his tables was a group who had sat for three hours, drinking and being merry well past closing time. But, they were having a good time and failed to notice the time was flying past.

Williams tried not to think about how much money he missed out on as the group occupied one of his tables all night. Their bill was only $40 total and 20 percent of that was only $8.

As he moved to clear the long-occupied table, Williams looked but did not see a tip on the table. With a sigh he cleaned off the empty beer mugs and wine glasses, scrubbed ranch from the peanut bucket and wiped steak sauce off the menus before he grabbed a broom, ready to sweep up what little trash was left and walk out the door to freedom. 

When he started sweeping the booth, he noticed a folded receipt under the table. He reached down to pick it up and to his surprise, a crisply folded $50 bill sat before him with a wink drawn on the receipt. 

He casually finished sweeping, but his luck had changed and his hope in humanity again soared. At last, he was able to smile as he walked outside into the cool night air.

Words: 251

Regina's Edit: headline: Team prepares for first game

For the past three months, the women's basketball team has been preparing for its first game, which is on Friday, Nov. 3.

The game will begin at 5:30 p.m. During the past three months, team members have endured early mornings, lifting weights, spending plenty of time in the gym, which also cuts into players' social lives.

Every day, players make time to go to the gym to go shoot or even do handles with the ball. Playing this sport takes many hours. But doing it as part of a team makes it all the better! 

Each player must give sweat, blood and tears for this sport. Being around others who are doing the same provides powerful motivation, but for some the pain is always worth it.

Seniors on the team have many bittersweet memories as they reflect on their final preseason, which suddenly seems like it flew by too quickly.

Teammates and the coaching staff become family and share much laughter and accomplishments.

Players know these memories will last a lifetime and wonder how they will be able to step away form it all.

new count: 184 words

original: 283 words

ORIGINAL:

For the past three months, we have been preparing for our first game, which is on Friday the 3rd. The game will begin at 530 pm. For the past three months I have been preparing for this day. By early mornings, lifting weights, spending half my life in the gym, while also losing my daily social life. Every-day, I make time to go to the gym. To go shoot or even do handles with the ball. Playing this sport takes many hours out of my day. But doing it along with my teammates make it all the better! I am not the only one givinp up my sweat, blood, and tears for this sport. Being around others who are doing the same keeps me going. But this will always be my number one sport no matter the pain I have to go through.

For this being my last year it is very bittersweet. Now I look back and realize I took part in my last pre season for the past three months. How time flyes by and all of a sudden you look up, and a good thing has ended. Looking back, I have had the best teammates and best coaching staff. Many memories that contain uncortollable laughs. This sport brings more than just the game. It brings you memories that will last for a lifetime, best of friends, and also accomplishements I would not have been able to accomplish before now. I have five more months to enjoy this last season. My first and last game. My soon to be last game. It is all sad when I think about it, but I know that I will make the best of it!

Regina's edit: headline: Consumerism drives holiday

Thanksgiving is an often overlooked holiday. 

Gathering with friends and family used to remind people to be thankful as they were stuffing their faces with excessive amounts of turkey and mashed potatoes. Now many are thinking about who they are going to shove out of the way for a great bargain.

Step into any store and expect to find a mere trace of Thanksgiving as Christmas takes center stage right after Hallowen. Target and Walmart already look like winter wonderlands, and stores in the mall stock their shelves with Christmas products, too. 

Instead of saying ‘ho-ho-ho’ this time of year, people should be considering their many blessings.

In recenet years, stores have been opening earlier and earlier for Black FRIDAY on Thanksgiving day, which means employees aren’t able to spend time with their loved ones because they are scheduled to work so other people can save a few extra bucks on a TV or an iPad. 

A growing list of companies got the memo that Thanksgiving is a holiday that should be spent with family and not at a department store and are remaining closed on Thanksgiving Day. However, there are still plenty who will continue to welcome the masses at all hours. 

It is up to society to decide how to honor the holiday, but many folks wish to leave Christmas to December and let November have Thanksgiving.

new word count: 229
old count: 257

Regina's Notes: Write these in the THIRD person. No I, me, us, we or you
Overall, you have some good thoughts here, just need to polish them up a bit
Now, when it's more opinion-based, the rewrite can be a bit trickier. You can decide if I improved the overall piece or if I meddled too much.

Regina's Edit: Headline: GMOs continue to raise questions

A lot of controversy has arisen over the topic of whether GMOs are good for our food, plants and animals. 

In some countries GMOs are completely banned and outlawed. GMOs are a genetically-modified organisms that extract the genes that can be duplicated for sales and consumption. 

Recently, students across the country had the opportunity to attend a seminar called Biotech University at Arizona State University. 

The seminar provided background information that helped attendees form their own opinions about whether GMOs are suitable for the masses. 

It was pointed out that they can be expensive to continue to produce, but some attendees thought nutrition should be the deciding factor when it comes to GMOs.

Attendees toured a soybean farm and learned that the vast majority of soy, corn, sugar beat and canola are genetically modified. Almost all of the those ingredients are included in just about every food. 

Equipped with information, attendees are left to sort out the pros and cons of the GMOs for themselves.

New word count: 165

Regina's Notes:

I'm not generally a fan of using questions in writing. And, again, this was not written in third person. The piece needed a stronger conclusion, and I wrote what I thought might fit. It could definitely be improved upon.