By Monica McDougal
Sunlight filled the plane's cabin as passengers
began to lift the blinds covering their windows. The pilot had just announced
that the plane would be beginning its descent.
In an aisle seat, a
middle aged man wearing a navy t-shirt marked with the logo of the Wounded
Warrior Project held two teddy bears in his arms. He bounced his prosthetic leg
nervously. An elderly woman sitting across the aisle from the man asked him if
flying made him uncomfortable. He nodded with a smile. When the wheels of the
plane touched down on the runway, the man gritted his teeth and clutched the
teddy bears tightly to his chest. He kept his eyes shut until the plane came to
a stop.
When the seat belt light flashed off, the sound of seat belts
unfastening filled the cabin and passengers quickly left their seats. The man with
the teddy bears waited patiently for the aisle to clear. Then, he stood up and
retrieved a camouflage duffel bag from the overhead compartment. He walked down
the aisle slowly, the two teddy bears tucked carefully between his arm and his
side.
As he exited the gate, high-pitched screams began to echo
through the airport. The man dropped his bag and the teddy bears to the floor and
crouched down with open arms as two little girls with bright blond hair ran
towards him. He enveloped them in his arms as tears poured down his face. A woman
stood close by clutching a sign in her left hand that said, “Welcome home,
daddy!” Her right hand wiped tears from her eyes. The man motioned for the
woman to join the embrace.
Onlookers stood by, many with tears welling up in their own
eyes, as the family was reunited. A few minutes later, the family stood up and
the man gathered his things from the floor. As he handed the teddy bears to his
little girls, he told them he loved them. The girls embraced him yet again.
Okay so I'm a big softie; this is the second story to have me tear up. With that being said, I think that shows how you did a great job capturing this moment and the emotions with it. Good Job Monica!
ReplyDeleteFantastic job, Monica! What a wonderful moment in time to witness. It really is the little things that make life beautiful. Very descriptive and very well written! I noticed that you already seem to have a good handle on correct comma usage in AP style (specifically when it comes to nonrestrictive and restrictive parts of a sentence.) That's something I've been working on and paying more attention to since starting this class. Great work!
ReplyDeleteGreat story, it had me tearing up as well. It was very well written, and I felt like I could see it happening. :)
ReplyDeleteThat was such a great moment to capture! You used vivid vocabulary that placed me right at the airport. Great story, Monica!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Monica! The story is very well written and I can tell that you included as many details as possible. I loved how you kept the two teddy bears involved in the story, almost making them characters.
ReplyDeleteI love the descriptive detail, the headline might need a little tweaking, but I think overall its really well written and its a tear jerker!
ReplyDeleteWonderful story! It was very emotional, and I felt like I was there. That would have been a great moment to witness.
ReplyDeleteA really touching story. Very descriptive and vivid, not to mention well-written.
ReplyDeleteThis is a moving story, I love it! Family is the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteI thought you did a good job with the story. I enjoyed the humanizing details like the soldier being nervous about flying.
ReplyDeleteI love the title of this story! The story itself is really great and very touching and moving like others have said. Its something that a lot of people can relate to and it is definitely a story people will want to read.
ReplyDelete