Flu season equals you season

It is that time of year again, mother earth decides to dress in different colors, the air no longer embraces the days with the same warm affection and chicken soup stock prices go out the roof. Flu season is here and it could not have come sooner. I was walking down the aisles of Dillon's when I noticed multiple end caps for Robitussin DM and NyQuil.  I could not have been happier, flu season is my favorite time of year.

Why you might ask, because flu season allows me to be a horrible person and have a completely good reason to justify my crappy behavior. You can get in part of the action as well and make those snot nose filled days, the best days of your life. Here's how.

If you don't want to do something don't worry you don't have to, you are sick after all. Whenever someone asks you why you didn't do something respond with "I'm sick".

Some quick examples.

Your roommate comes into your rooms and says "dude why didn't you clean up the kitchen, you left a huge mess". then you respond with "I'm sick".

Your boss calls you asking why you didn't show up to work, say "I'm sick"

Your friend catches you stealing his credit card to order 20 copies of your favorite movie, say "I'm sick".

Wow, you might have lost your job, friends and respect from your roommate but just look at what a carefree life you are living now.

One final piece of advice, make sure you repeat how sick you are at every opportunity. People tend to forget things easily. By reminding those around you just how awful you are feeling, it will ensure you are the center of attention for one or two weeks, depending on how sick you are. If the people around you seem annoyed by you don't worry, they are only jealous that you are getting so much attention and they are not.

I hope this helps you, and eases the anxiety of flu season. Remember if you are going to be miserable, make sure those around you are just as miserable as you. Have a nice day.

The Magic of Homecoming

As Homecoming quickly approaches many are students finding themselves caught up in the rush of planning events for their clubs. This years theme, "The Magical World of WU" allows for plenty of creative license. Yet, the question remains, what is magic?

Magic has been a belief and/or practice as long as humans have had imaginations. Its strongest roots are in the medieval renaissance, when "magick" practicers ruled with nearly as much authority as the church. Certainly, in those times they ruled with more authority than scientists.

Magical abilities could be learned if a person holds “the gift,” or more commonly, if they were born with a hereditary power. Natural-born witches have a stronger grip on their powers and can easily create spells. Witches traditionally belong to a coven, a sort of family of witches with similar beliefs or practices, and are most commonly female. They tend to use herbology, homeopathic medicine, and other alternative remedies in their practices.

Males are most often wizards, although gender does not matter. Wizards use spells that call upon gods and goddesses to harness their power. They often belong to a “Wizard’s Circle,” similar to a witch’s coven.

The most famous wizard is probably Merlin, the advisor to King Arthur. He is rivaled by Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Gandalf, Sauron and Saruman thanks to modern literature.

An evil male witch is called a Warlock, while an evil female is usually called a dark witch or wicked witch. A person born into a line of Warlocks will not necessarily be evil, although it is more likely. Warlocks tend to call upon demons for their power.

Modern magical practices are most commonly found in wiccan religions, which uses incantations, rituals, divination, summoning, charms, potions, and calling on deities.

A History of Magic

As Homecoming approaches, many students find themselves caught up in the rush of planning for the events for their clubs. The theme this year, "The Magical World of WU," allows for plenty of creative license, but the question nobody has answered is, what is magic?

Magic has been a belief and/or practice as long as humans have had imaginations. Perhaps its strongest roots are in the medieval renaissance, when "magick" practicers ruled with almost as much authority as the church, and certainly with more than scientists. In traditional magic, the one who practiced could choose if they were a witch or wizard. 

Magical abilities could be learned, if the person held “the gift,” or more commonly, they were born with a hereditary power. Natural-born witches have a stronger grip on their powers, and can more easily create spells. Witches traditionally belong to a coven, a sort of family of witches with similar beliefs or practices, and are most commonly female. They tend to use herbology, homeopathic medicine, and other alternative remedies in their practices.

Males often choose to become wizards, although either gender can choose to be either. Wizards use spells that call upon gods and goddesses to harness their power. They often belong to a “Wizard’s Circle,” which is similar to a witch’s coven.

An evil male witch is called a Warlock, while an evil female is usually called a dark witch or wicked witch. A person born into a line of Warlocks will not necessarily be evil, although that is the tendency, in a true monkey see, monkey do fashion. Warlocks tend to call on demons for their power.

Modern magical practices are most commonly found in wiccan religions, which uses incantations, rituals, divination, summoning, charms, potions, and calling on dieties.

The most famous wizard is probably Merlin, who was an advisor to King Arthur. He is rivaled by Albus Dumbledore, Voldemort, Gandalf, Sauron and Saruman thanks to modern literature.

Presidential debate leaves voters undecided!

On October 09, 2016 the infamous presidential debate broadcast across our television screens. This is the second debate that has cause much controversy on who voters are voting for. Throughout the debate we witnessed a shouting match of the blame game from both candidates. Well some innuendos were more relevant from one candidate than the other.  Very to little questions that were asked were actually answered. This not only left the undecided voters with unanswered questions, But left them  with unwavering decision on who they were casting their vote for In this years unconventional election.  

(Team 1) Local knocked in car accident, calls police

Lisa Herdman, senior Washburn student and resident of Topeka, partook in a fender bender around 10:30 a.m. on Sept. 22 on 12 Street and Gage Boulevard.

The other driver, a woman who looked to be in her late 40s, is yet to be identified. She was driving a red Ford Focus.

Herdman recreated the scene before she was at class.

"I pulled out of my driveway and headed down 12th Street towards Gage," Herdman said. "I was stopped at a stoplight, and this lady, coffee in hand, sunglasses gleaming in the light, smacked right into the back of me!"

Herdman said the woman looked to be figiting with something while she was driving, and she could see that the woman was not going to be able to stop in time. After the accident occurred, the woman got out of her car and approached her. But Herdman was already busy calling the police.

"I was furious!" Herdman said. "I punched in 911, and then tried to not look like I wanted to fight this lady before the policeman arrived. I hadn't even made it a block away from my house yet!"

A police officer showed up around 10:45 a.m. and took both women's information, before assigning a ticket to the woman in the Ford Focus.

"I am still upset that it made me late to class," Herdman said. "My car is so old, so I don't really care about it. But you have to be careful when you are driving and approaching a stoplight, watch where you are going!"

Enjoy!

Here's a funny for you.

http://www.theonion.com/article/4-copy-editors-killed-in-ongoing-ap-style-chicago--30806

A Series of Unusual Events

Monday, September 19, started as any normal day would, but as the day progressed it became more and more interesting. The series of unusual events started as I drove home from class. A man was running down 21st Street, which is not so unusual, but it was his footwear, or lack thereof that caught my attention. He was running with no shoes, no socks, nothing but the bare soles of his feet, which at this point must have been as tough as leather.

Next, a vicious attack by an unlikely assailant. I drove to Sonic after dinner for a simple Reese’s blast, placed the order, waited for the carhop like a normal person but apparently I did something to offend the carhop because as she gave me change, something started raining down on top of me as if she had thrown the change. After getting a grasp of not only reality but the situation, I saw a confused carhop looking at me as though I belonged in a straight jacket. I look down and to my surprise I see my attacker, a small grasshopper. I explained to the carhop what I thought had happened and she laughed saying, “ Oh, I would never do that.”

Lastly, as I pulled into my driveway, recovering from the shock of my near-death experience, when I see a small animal sitting in the tree above me. It’s not unusual to see a possum in Kansas, but never had I seen one climb a tree and sit staring at me. It could have been planning its nightly raid on the trash can or plotting my death, after noticing the grasshopper from earlier failed his mission, so I ducked inside, avoiding the animal, thus concluding my strange day.