Monday, October 24, 2016

Flu season equals you season

It is that time of year again, mother earth decides to dress in different colors, the air no longer embraces the days with the same warm affection and chicken soup stock prices go out the roof. Flu season is here and it could not have come sooner. I was walking down the aisles of Dillon's when I noticed multiple end caps for Robitussin DM and NyQuil.  I could not have been happier, flu season is my favorite time of year.

Why you might ask, because flu season allows me to be a horrible person and have a completely good reason to justify my crappy behavior. You can get in part of the action as well and make those snot nose filled days, the best days of your life. Here's how.

If you don't want to do something don't worry you don't have to, you are sick after all. Whenever someone asks you why you didn't do something respond with "I'm sick".

Some quick examples.

Your roommate comes into your rooms and says "dude why didn't you clean up the kitchen, you left a huge mess". then you respond with "I'm sick".

Your boss calls you asking why you didn't show up to work, say "I'm sick"

Your friend catches you stealing his credit card to order 20 copies of your favorite movie, say "I'm sick".

Wow, you might have lost your job, friends and respect from your roommate but just look at what a carefree life you are living now.

One final piece of advice, make sure you repeat how sick you are at every opportunity. People tend to forget things easily. By reminding those around you just how awful you are feeling, it will ensure you are the center of attention for one or two weeks, depending on how sick you are. If the people around you seem annoyed by you don't worry, they are only jealous that you are getting so much attention and they are not.

I hope this helps you, and eases the anxiety of flu season. Remember if you are going to be miserable, make sure those around you are just as miserable as you. Have a nice day.


  1. I like the topic you chose. It is relevant to what is currently going on. It was very well written.

  2. I like this piece! Very humorous but also warns the reader that it is flu season, and to make sure to stock up on your cold flu antibiotics! But piece very much worth the read!

  3. So funny!!!! I laughed and laughed! I will remember this for sure.