Monday, October 27, 2014

Expecting a special visit

For days she had dreaded going to work. It was the same, mundane tasks over and over again. Occasionally, there were a couple customers that could bring out a sincere smile and laugh. But most days drug on while she continued to get disrespected by frustrated shoppers who didn't understand she didn't have control. She was a cashier, never trained in specific departments on the floor. Retail was not her specialty but being a full-time student didn't leave her with many job options.

When she woke up that morning, excitement filled her with joy. He was finally going to visit. All she had to do was get through her five-hour shift and he would be waiting for her.

Back in high school, they both had different people they were in relationships with. But occasionally, they were able to share a few moments together. They had tried dating but it never seemed to work out. Being "friends" seemed so much easier.

Graduation came and they both went their separate ways, but always stayed in touch. After all, no one could quite understand her the way he did. He knew every deep and dark secret she had. They relied on each other.

After a couple years passed they decided to date, which was a surprise to no one. However, life was so much simpler before. Now, he already had a job back home while she was stuck in college almost three hours away. They both had bills and responsibilities. But today, none of that mattered. He was on his way.

The entire time she was at work her eyes continued to drift towards the clock. Thirty minutes left, then 20, 10, 5... As she clocked out, everyone could tell she was in a hurry. She climbed into her Jeep and raced home, praying she wouldn't get a speeding ticket.

When she arrived at her apartment, she spotted his truck. He slowly opened his car door and they made eye contact. A sly, grin swept across his face as he waved. She jumped out of her Jeep and they embraced in the middle of the parking lot. At first, neither of them wanted to let go. It had been too long since they had last seen each other.

As the moment wore off they began to discuss plans for the next couple of days. Although she knew his visit wouldn't last long, she knew it was going to be one hell of a weekend.

11 comments:

  1. Cute story. Very descriptive. I felt like I knew exactly how that felt. Maybe a different title, but otherwise great job! :)

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  2. You are very descriptive with your flashback! I like how you included that. The title may need a little tweaking. I think you have the right idea though!

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  3. Nice job, Jen! I might suggest adding a little more detail to your headline to make it a complete thought, such as who is expecting a special visit or who the visit might be from.

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  4. This is great Jenn! You just described my life, haha. I think it as great and you were so descriptive and left no questions as to what she was thinking or what was going on.

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  5. Great job! It was very descriptive and you were able to put the reader at the scene. You may want to go with a different title, but great job overall.

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  6. I think you need an other headline for the story. I like the beginning of the story. Great job!

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  7. Dude... a day in the life. Your title draws your reader in which is good, but it needs to be completed like Emily said. I love your description and the flashback, really cool story. I can relate!

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  8. You're killing me! Why do you have to make this so tough for me. Editing this will be fun!

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  9. I really enjoyed this story. It was well written.

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  10. You may want to work on the title but I enjoyed the descriptive language in the story and overall it is very well written. Nice Job.

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