The lack of participation from students at football games
has the stands looking like a morgue.
Going to Washburn for four years now I have started notice a
trend at the football games. Every year the first football game always starts
off with a full student section. There are people with painted chest and full of
Washburn spirit. But with every home game after the crowd dwindles until homecoming
the stand will be filled once more. The only section that seems to stay
consistent is where all the alumni sit. Those old people who never seemed to
miss a game since they graduated 20 years ago. The Greek life usually last the
longest but in the end they seem to dissipate also.
The hill where all the fraternities and sororities sit usually
starts off the year with all of them showing their letters and filling the
hill. Though you can see they have tons of school spirit, it tends to die off. After
a while it seems that they all stay outside and tailgate or not even show up.
In the years past, the cheerleaders use to rotate and cheer to
the student section during a quarter but with lack of participation the
cheerleaders don’t go to the other side of the field anymore. This restricts
the cheerleaders from also interacting with the band. The band has always been
the loudest people in the stands.
With homecoming being this coming week there is hope to have
the stands full so the crowd could cheer the team to a victory. The
cheerleaders love more than anything to cheer for the students of Washburn
University. There also seems to be a correlation to how many people attend the
games and if Washburn wins.
I really like this story a lot. Just make sure all your verb tenses match and you use the right tense of the verb. For example, in the fourth paragraph, the cheerleaders used to rotate.
ReplyDeleteGood story. However, it's kind of choppy there are punctuation issues. C'mon Justin!
ReplyDeleteI really like this article. I wouldn't call alumni "those old people." Some people may take offense to that. I have not been to any Washburn games. Does the lack of participation/ attendance happen to every event or just football?
ReplyDeleteThe first paragraph change notice to noticing and make chest plural. But good job Justin! Great article.
ReplyDeleteI think its good, but i wouldn't use the "I" tense. I would either quote yourself, or write it in 3rd person. Other than that, it is a very interesting article Justin Braun. #GoTeam
ReplyDeleteGreat article and a very relevant topic to our university. School spirit is something that our school definitely lacks and I hope to see change. I would take the period out of your headline and put a comma after "But," that's all I see, though. Good job!
ReplyDeleteA little too opinionated to be journalistic. Try using less biased words, if you can. Also try to eliminate unnecessary words. Good job, and I agree with everything you mentioned.
ReplyDeleteGood point in your story but a lot of little errors make it hard to read. Like chest should be chests
ReplyDeleteYour headline would still be good if you deleted "attending." This story is very interesting and relevant to the student population. However, delete yourself from the story. Talk about it from a student's perspective, but don't use the word "I."
ReplyDeleteBe more objective, don't insert yourself into the story. You probably shouldn't refer to the alumni as old people either :) Other than that, it's a relevant topic!
ReplyDeleteLove the topic because everyone who goes to Washburn knows school spirit is lacking at times! Headline is good too and really sets the tone for the article.
ReplyDeleteTrue story. Take yourself out of the story and state more facts.
ReplyDeleteThis is a problem on campus and I'm glad that you are bringing to everyones attention. The "those old people" really needs to be fixed.
ReplyDeleteGood topic. I agree Kelly that avoid your perosonal opinion when writing story.
ReplyDeleteGood story! Just one thing, "I have started to notice..."
ReplyDelete