Thursday, September 4, 2014

A Fish Story

The sun was just beginning to set on a humid July evening. She had been waiting for a few hours, sitting on a dock overlooking a pond, hidden behind a row of oak trees.
She hadn’t caught much and had begun to grow impatient and thought about giving up and going to play with the dog that was sleeping beside her.
Her friend had promised to take her fishing and not wanting to disappoint him she fought off the boredom until she couldn’t take it any longer.
“Can we go home,” she said.
Sensing that she had finally had enough and fearing that she may not like fishing all together he made a final suggestion.
“Why don’t we give it one final cast before we head back?” he said.
She agreed and handed her hook over to him. She only agreed to go with him if he baited her hook for her because she didn’t want to touch the worms. He baited her hook and she casted her pink fishing pole into the pond as she hoped for one final chance at a fish.
The waited for a few minutes and then she got a bite.
She fought the fish and as it came to the edge of the dock her friend grabbed it. It was a large-mouth bass weighing 5 pounds. .It was the biggest fish she had ever caught. They took pictures of the fish released it back into the pond and walked home.
“I didn’t know I would like fishing this much” she said.
“I’m glad but you’re not going to catch such a big fish every time” she said.
  “How do you know,” she said


  1. I'm not too surprised that you would choose a fishing story to write about. :)

  2. I really enjoyed the story and how real it seems. I can really imagine it! There are a few punctuation errors here and there, but that is what editing is for!

  3. I know the feeling about fishing, it's not much fun if you don't catch anything. It was a good story, I enjoyed it as well.

  4. I am the same way, in that I refuse to touch a fish or bait a hook. As for catching fish, I have never been so lucky! Pretty cool story, very detailed. I found a few grammatical errors and a couple sentences that might need revamping, but otherwise the story is interesting and comical!

  5. I found a few grammatical errors as well. My questions is what was his response? I want to know!

  6. I echo everyone else in that there were a number of grammar and spelling errors, but we're all learning together. :) For example, the sentence "Her friend had promised to take her fishing and not wanting to disappoint him she fought off the boredom until she couldn’t take it any longer" might be better written like... "Her friend had promised to take her fishing. Not wanting to disappoint him, she fought off her boredom until she couldn't take it anymore." Just a thought!

  7. Besides the grammatical errors, it was a bit hard for me to read because of the lack of spacing between each paragraph. For future reference I would fix that so it is easier on the reader to follow along.

  8. Looks like most everyone has commented on what I noticed. I did like the turn around after the girl caught the fish.

  9. I think separating this story into multiple paragraphs would help the reader a bit, but I think you did well for your first time writing a post!

  10. It is a little hard to read the story because the space. But it is a really interesting story!

  11. I agree with everyone about the misplaced comma's . Maybe pay attention to how you punctuate the sentences you have in quotations. Other than that, I liked it. Also, the title needs work lol but good job!