Wednesday, November 12, 2014

There is no easy way to lose a friend

It had been a year since she had seen her camp buddy Sara but they still felt very connected. Unfortunately because of school she didn't have the chance to volunteer at the camp where they first met. Sara had been a dedicated camp member for the past four years the same amount of time that she had been cancer free. Since she was only 13 it felt like this disease took up most of her life. Sara stayed positive and looked forward to going to camp every summer.

Keeping in contact was hard when you are trying to get your degree, work a full time job and volunteer but the two were very dedicated about reaching out to one another. It broke her heart to have to miss a year but summer is only half a year away now. It would not be long until they are back in their normal routine of crafts and hikes.

One night she got an email from Sara's mother. They were in the hospital because Sara needed a have a blood clot removed. Skimming the beginning of the email she determined it wasn't too serious but she decided to call her roommate. They both volunteered together and Sara meant a great deal to both of them. While she was on the phone she reassured her friend that everything was OK she just wanted her to be informed. She made jokes and laughed when finally she said, "OK but seriously let me read this so you know what's going on with Sara."

"Hello, I just wanted to let you know that we have been in the hospital the past week with Sara. Our little girl fought off cancer for four years but due to the wear and tear ended up forming a blood clot. We were reassured that it wasn't cancerous and that the surgery was fairly routine. Sara has been through so much that she was barely phased by the news. You know how she was always able to stay positive. Unfortunately Sara unexpectedly passed after her surgery. We are still unsure what happened but I wanted to let you know that she is no longer with us..."

Wait, what just happened?

"I'm so sorry Elizabeth I should have finished reading the email before I called you. I had no idea how it was going to end! I just wanted to let you know that she was in the hospital not that she had. I didn't know she had. I'm so sorry."

Click.

A life that had barely started was over and she was still struggling to comprehend what she had just read. Only regret fills her mind, she knows that her volunteering wouldn't have saved Sara, but she believes it would have made the loss hurt less. She can never get back the summer that she missed or the friend that she lost.



15 comments:

  1. Oh my, what a sad story. I'm so sorry for your loss. The title definitely made me want to read the story to see what was going on.

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  2. This story is actually about my roommate. I was on top bunk when this whole thing happened. I only overheard it and it was just awful!

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  3. Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry for your roommate! I can't imagine how it would feel to receive that news like that. I can see she wasn't expecting it.

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  4. Ohhhh, holy crap. This is going to be a tough one to edit. This is a well-written story, Kaity! Great job.

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  5. Your headline was more of a title than a headline but I personally have no idea what I would have called a story like that. Good job.

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  6. Yeah I know my headline sucks. I honestly sat there for 10 minutes debating what I should call it because everything I thought of sounded like a title. I just kept it because I knew it was going to change anyway.

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  7. I'm sure nothing kills a conversation like that kind of a surprise. That must have been awkward to overhear. Good job with the story.

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  8. Nice job, Kaity! I agree with everyone else that it would have been a difficult story to overhear. You did a great job capturing it. Remember that commas should be used to connect two independent clauses. :) For example... "It had been a year since she had seen her camp buddy Sara, but they still felt very connected." Just something small I noticed!

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  9. There are a few errors here and there, but you did a great job capturing the story and using descriptive words to keep the story flowing. Like you said, the headline needs work.

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  10. It is a really sad story. Sorry for your loss. You did a nice job! I think may be change a other headline will be more attractive.

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  11. It would be very difficult to put another persons words and emotions into a story. You did a pretty nice job. I would just recommend a headline change. Nice job.

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  12. I agree the comments above. A few minor flaws but with a story like this they are hardly noticeable.

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  13. Thanks for writing a super sad story that made me want to cry!! It was very touching and emotional and I love the way you wrote it. I like the headline but its almost too much to the point you know? Immediately when you read the headline you know its about death and to some people that may be too much for them so they may not want to read the story. But if you made the headline in a different way that maybe remembers the person who passed or said something about finding out some horrible news it would make it sound a lot better. Of course that is just my opinion. I loved the story though and it was very catching and intense. I think the person who has to edit this is going to have a hard time. Good job!

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  14. You did a good job writing this story. Very sad but it made me want to keep reading. Well done.

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  15. I don't like the title and I know you don't either. You can't make a short title out of a friend like that. Thanks for making me cry. I've been through a similar situation and I'm glad you had the balls to share.

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