Thursday, September 4, 2014

Home Sweet Home

By: Jennifer Funk (Team 5)

She anxiously stared at the clock, watching the seconds pass by, waiting for her family to return. At the hospital, so many friends and family members came to visit that she hardly got the chance to hold her. It was only a couple of years ago that she was blessed with her first niece, Kyndall Ann. Now, unexpectedly a few weeks early, her second niece has arrived.

At her sister's house there were dishes piled up in the sink. Dirty laundry and toys were scattered on the living room floor. While waiting, she decided to clean and organize the house. After that, the only thing left to do was sit and wait. As she sat on the couch, she began to listen intently for the sound of the car pulling into the driveway.

Finally, she could hear the garage door lift and tires squealing as they came to a stop. The door swung open and there she was, Karsyn Renee. As Karsyn's father clunked through the kitchen, her aunt stood up so he could gently set the car seat on the couch. Her aunt walked closer to get a better look and the newborn slowly opened her big, blue eyes.

The mother entered the room and turned the lights on. The baby whimpered due to the harsh brightness emitted by the light bulbs. A silent cry slowly swept over the infant's face. The excited aunt quickly took action and cautiously lifted the 5 pound little angel out of her car seat.

Karsyn wiggled in her aunt's arms until she found a comfortable position. Slowly, she began to open her eyes and took a first look at her new home. After staying the first few nights at the cold, busy hospital, she was finally home. Her big sister excitedly ran over and gave her a kiss. A peaceful smile filled Karsyn's face. For the moment, life couldn't get any better for their little family. She was right where she belonged. She was home.

11 comments:

  1. This is so cute! I mean do I even need to edit this? I think it's perfect!

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  2. Great job! I like the story and all the details you included in the story, such as the description of how the sisters house looked. You did a great job catching where to put commas and where to not put commas for the most part! Overall, well done.

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  3. I liked the story, I just had a new niece less than two weeks ago. I could definitely relate to this story. It really captured the emotion.

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  4. I also just became an aunt. My niece was premature so I was unable to see her at first. I remember the first moment I was able to meet her all to well. This story was beautiful and very relatable to me.

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  5. I can definitely relate to this post. It was wonderfully written.

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  6. Great job, Jen! This is such a beautiful story. I think I noticed a couple of misplaced commas, but I'm still learning too so I can't say for sure. :)

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  7. I think it's a lovely story. I really like the description in the first paragraph.

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  8. Overall I think this story was well-written.

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  9. Love the attention to detail. This was very endearing! Great job.

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  10. A beautiful and sweet story! I love it!

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  11. Well written story, I didnt see anything that needed editing right off other than the title being a little vague. I enjoyed reading it.

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