Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Student rushes to first class of the day

She glanced down at her phone and realized it was now five minutes past the time she was supposed to be in her class. Once again, she was going to be late. 

She would have been on time if it weren't for the bad morning she had just experienced. She had set the alarm on her phone to go off at 8:15 a.m. That gave her 45 minutes to complete her morning routine, which was plenty of time. But after waking up on her own that morning, she learned that her alarm did not go off at 8:15 a.m. and that it was now 8:45 a.m. She wondered what had gone wrong. Was the phone on silent during the night? Was there a problem with the phone? After checking on the time she had set for the alarm, she found that it was her own fault. She had set the time correctly at 8:15, but failed to set the alarm to a.m. instead of p.m. 

She rushed to get ready after the first mistake of her day. She grabbed clothes from around her room while brushing a comb through her hair. There was no time to even look in the mirror to see if she was half-decent. 

She would have almost been on time if it wasn't for losing her shoe. She had one shoe on but had to search frantically for the second. Her pesky dog possessed a bad habit of stealing shoes and hiding them where ever he pleased. She searched under her bed and under the couch before finally spotting the shoe behind the door. She was tempted to yell at the dog, but decided for time's sake to move on. 

The girl was only going to be a little late. 8:55 a.m. appeared on her clock and she knew that if she could drive a little faster than normal to her school, she would make it. But every stop light turned red upon her arrival, jamming her into the morning traffic. Her hands moved up and down the steering wheel anxiously and she muttered "c'mon, c'mon, c'mon" over and over again under her breath. She turned into the parking lot and took a deep breath. Her clock said 8:59 a.m. She was late, but not too late. 

Her next task was to find a parking spot and at her university, it was near impossible. She circled the parking lot for the first time quickly, looking out her window at every parking stall to find an open one. There was nothing open. She circled one more time; this time more carefully to spot any available stalls she may have missed. 

As she finally found a spot, the clock read 9:05 and she knew that she would be not only late, but really late. She jumped out of her car, grabbed her bag, and sprinted to her first class of the day. 

13 comments:

  1. Great job, Jena! I think a lot of us will be able to relate to this story. I've had those mornings where I either didn't hear my alarm or set it for p.m. like you described. The story flows very nicely, and I really like a lot of the descriptive sentences you used, such as "her pesky dog possessed a bad habit..." It helped me visualize what was happening as I was reading it. I noticed a few minor errors. For example, I think wherever should be one word instead of two (fourth paragraph). Overall, nice job!! I also like your headline. It's descriptive, informative and uses a nice verb!

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  2. This is seriously like the story of my life! If you haven't noticed I'm late to class, like a lot. You were extremely descriptive with your word choice. Good job!

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  3. I like your story! I feel like this is also my story, I always get up late. You describe a lot of details in the story. And I like the adjectives you use in the story. Great job!

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  4. Welcome to every morning of my life. It has definitely gotten better now that I live closer to campus but I still can't manage to get out the door on time. I found myself intrigued and agreeing with everything you wrote. Great job!

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  5. Good story Jena, I know it's a feeling everyone can relate with. Maybe a different title, but all in all a good story. :)

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  6. If you're anything like me when this happens I'm sure you tastefully left out a lot of profanity. I enjoyed this story a lot.

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  7. I really like the headline. I find myself wanting to be too fancy with my headlines and yours describes the story perfectly. Great job.

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  8. I had to laugh at some point, this is the story of my life with editing class. As everyone knows, I struggle to convince myself to go to class every time.

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  9. First off, this story was is basically my mornings in a nutshell. The only hiccup I saw was the word 'parking stall' . I would change it to a more commonly used word just for aesthetic purposes. But good job.

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  10. Very nice story. I can really relate to it. I like your headline, very nice job with your story and the detail you put into it.

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  11. I like your story and it is very relatable. I think the headline is a little boring but I love the fact that you added that it was the first day of class in the headline and I think it should definitely stay there. I"m not sure what you should change it to but if you made it a little more exciting that would make it perfect. It's almost like you need to combine the this headline with the edited headline and then it would be so much better. As far as your story goes I really didn't find very many errors in it and I thought you did a really good job at telling the story and making it interesting and exciting. Great job!

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  12. The story is very easy to relate too. It is well written and very descriptive and I enjoyed reading it. You did a good job.

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  13. This is seriously a day in my life. No errors that I could find and the title is very descriptive. It was something that stuck out to me, probably because I find it relatable to every day of my life. Not to mention I'm responsible for another little person who moves like a snail. Every. Day. Struggle.

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