It’s that time of year again, the air no longer embraces the days with the same warm affection and chicken soup’s stock goes through the roof. Flu season is here and it couldn’t have come sooner. A friend was walking down the aisles of Dillon's when he noticed multiple end caps for Robitussin DM and NyQuil. He could not have been happier, flu season is his favorite time of year.
Why you ask, because flu season allows him to be a horrible person and have a reason to justify his behavior. One can partake in the action and make those snot filled days the best days of ones life. Here's how.
Don't want to do something, don't worry you don't have to, you are sick after all. Whenever someone asks you why you didn't do something respond with "I'm sick.”
Some quick examples.
A roommate comes into the room and says "dude why didn't you clean up the kitchen, you left a huge mess.” Respond with "I'm sick.”
The boss calls asking about not showing up to work, answer "I'm sick.”
A friend catches another friend stealing his credit card to order 20 copies of their favorite movie, the friends response to the situation "I'm sick.”
They may have lost their jobs, friends and respect from their roommates, but just think about at the carefree life they’re living.
One final piece of advice, make sure to constantly remind friends and family of one’s deathly illness acquisition. They will forget without the constant reminder. By reminding them just how awful one is feeling, it will ensure the sympathy of others for weeks. If they seem annoyed, don't worry, they’re just jealous of ones carefree lifestyle and will get over it.
I hope this helps, and eases the anxiety of flu season. Remember if one has to be miserable, make sure those around are just as miserable. Have a nice day.