Sunday, August 30, 2015

Mysterious Religious Group Making Others Feel Awkward

Recently on campus, there has been a group of people with Bibles asking students who pass by if they would like a Bible study session. Most of the time, the group seems to have someone there with them throughout the day around Henderson and the Union.

The group locates its study areas at prime targets during certain parts of the day. In the early afternoon, they are at each exit around Henderson, and in the evening they are outside of the Union, sitting around the stairs across from the Mulvane Art Museum and also just outside of the main doors. No one seems to know who the group is.

There seems to be many people around campus who are avoiding the group and going out of their way to get to their desired location without interacting with the group. One time as I passed them, I chose not to stop and interact with them and the second time I avoided them altogether. There are many people who do not handle God being thrusted upon their way of thinking very well.

Along with those feeling insecure, what about the mass of people who are too insecure to say they did not have time for a Bible study and instead sat there awkwardly? There are Christians who do not like this tactic just as an anti-religious person would, meaning it is not one sided. There are many folks who appreciate this group doing this, but the issue is that it makes some people feel insecure.


One thing is for certain though, this group may be around campus for many more days outside of Henderson and on the steps of the Union, asking people if they would like to have a Bible study session. Going forward, it will be interesting to see if students on campus embrace the group, or continue to walk away from them with their heads down.

22 comments:

  1. These people have stopped me, and it drives me crazy. I noticed that the word "Bible" should be capitalized. There are a few run-on sentences such as "There are many people who do not handle God being thrust upon their way of thinking very well. On top of those who do not handle that very well, what about the mass of people who are too awkward to say they did not have time for a bible study and instead sat there awkwardly?"
    The first sentence is a little awkward when read, and the second just seems long. Overall though an enjoyable and informative read.

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  3. On the last paragraph maybe say "...this group may be around campus for a while " instead of saying "...this group may be around campus for many more days..."
    Maybe get a quote from someone who has experienced this group. I would also ask the students in this group what they call their group.
    I have experienced two of these people and it was annoying. Very interesting article and very current!

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  4. When writing a news story you must eliminate all adjectives and any other form of "fluff." News writing needs to be direct and terse. With that being said a new, shorter headline could be "Religious group affects Washburn students." Make sure only to capitalize important pronouns in the headline. Another tip would be to clarify locations when you first mention them. An example would be to say Henderson Learning Center and Memorial Union rather than just Henderson and the Union. I would divide the third paragraph into two segments because of its excessive length. Overall, the topic was interesting and you provided good details. You just need to polish up a few things and you'll be golden.

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  5. I think you did a great job on your blog post. I have encountered that group on campus as well. The title is a tad long. Maybe you could do something just something short and sweet, but still in a catchy, interesting title. Other than that, I would capitalize bible and change the sentence about where their are at the end of the day. It is a sentence of a lot of information. I would consider it a run-on. I think this was a good issue to write about, and I think you did a great job portraying it through your post.

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  7. I have been stopped by these people multiple times as well so I'm glad you chose to write about this topic. Overall, I would say it was a good article with a few things to change. "Bible" needs to be capitalized like David said. Also there are a few awkward sentences that could be reworded. For example, "There are many folks who appreciate this group doing this..." you can say "There are many folks who appreciate the message and goal that this group is trying to convey..."

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  8. As state from other people i think Bible should be capitalized. I feel that you should find another word besides awkward so much in the last paragraph.
    I also feel that this sentence "One thing is for certain though, this group may be around campus for many more days outside of Henderson and on the steps of the Union, asking people if they would like to have a bible study session." is really long and can be split up or reworded to be shorter. But overall, this is a good article and you address multiple views on the subject.

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  9. I looked in the AP style book and it says to capitalize Bible if referred to the Scriptures and lowercase bible as nonreligious. Otherwise good post!

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  10. "Mysterious religious group on campus" could just be the title. I would adjust the third paragraph a little. There are also a few run-on sentences that can be adjusted as well. You should also reword some sentences to make them more straightforward.

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  11. There are a few AP Style errors in this post. Overall, the wording of this post does not flow well. Additionally, the post contains passive voice. As for the content, this story is not very compelling and very one sided. If more information about the group and their purpose was provided this story would be more interesting.

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  12. In the sentence "The group locates their study areas at prime targets during certain parts of the day", it's a little unclear as to whether the group's "prime targets" are people in particular or certain busy hot spots on campus. The sentence itself is just a little awkward. There are also sentences that use a comma when it is not necessary, such as "There seems to be many people around campus who are avoiding the group, and going out of their way to get to their desired location without interacting with the group." The comma in this case would not need to be in front of the "and". I would also suggest that if you could find out what the name of the group is, use their official name rather than just referring to them as a "group". These are just a couple of errors that stuck out to me. All that aside, it is a very interesting article!

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  13. I think the title: "Mysterious religious group making others feel awkward " is maybe a little subjective/one side. Perhaps some people do not feel awkward. However, I agree with your tittle and post.

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  14. There are some unnecessary words sprinkled in, as well as some tense disagreements throughout the post.

    In P3, you used the phrase "very well" and "awkward" -- try stating things in a different way to not sound as repetitive. You also say the word "it" and "this," which makes it a little difficult to understand exactly which subject you are referring to. I had to go back and be sure I knew exactly what you meant.

    You did well conveying both sides of the issue, although the negative side of the argument was a bit strong-worded. I was curious how the people "not handling" it were reacting.

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  15. When you are writing make sure that not only people that attend Washburn would understand what you are referring to.

    For example,

    "There seems to be many people around campus who are avoiding the group, and going out of their way to get to their desired location without interacting with the group."

    What is going out of their way?

    We are all learning so keep up the good job!

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  18. You could seperate the first paragraph and have only a one sentence lede. Make the second sentence a part of the second paragraph.

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  19. overall. it is a good news peg. The title "Mysterious Religious Group Making Others Feel Awkward ", you do not need to capitalize every word's first letter, it is better to change to "Mysterious religious group making others feel awkward "

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  20. I'm glad you chose to write about this topic because it is super relevant! I think almost all students have had this experience. The only thing I would say is your headline makes a bit of a judgment. Providing quotes from specific students saying they felt "awkward" would give you more credibility.

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  21. I'm glad you chose to write about this topic because it is super relevant! I think almost all students have had this experience. The only thing I would say is your headline makes a bit of a judgment. Providing quotes from specific students saying they felt "awkward" would give you more credibility.

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